Jack my meat, perhaps?

(Source: itscarts)


inheritedloss:

vulpes-vulpix:

qtiest:

ya but have u ever seen brown eyes when they’re in the sun??? they literally turn gold like screw those ass blue and green motherfuckers gettin all the love

excuse you, my eyes are blue and in the sun they get a steely gray glint just around the pupil and they look pretty damn awesome.

You:

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the-wolfbats:

Can we have another “Type the following words into your tags box, then post the first automatic tag that comes up.” post with the words

  • their 
  • okay
  • but
  • though
  • say
  • no
  • and
  • left
  • around
  • me

richwhitelesbian:

powerdad bellows at his son “TIME FOR BED!” rowdy son says “no dad fuck off” powerdad starts bench pressing his son till hes dead and then it is always bed time

(Source: finalfantasyfootball)


nosdrinker:

my english teacher accused me of plagiarizing an essay i wrote about my own life


(Source: andrewbelami)


romankyaryday:

i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”


(Source: literallysame)


I found my roommate’s twitter…

egobus:

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wow i really got around on the second day of school

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i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything

…I don’t even drink alcohol 

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i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music 

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i don’t even have her number????????????


falloutgirlongirl:

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i just napped for like three hours